Getting over.............

So why am I always the girl going after the guy that I know that I cant have but when I am with him I am thinking to myself "he is really not my type" but I think that I just love the attention that's all and I need to get out of that habit and suck it up cause I know that deep down if he were to say "lets date" I would push him so far away cause I am afraid of relationships. If I am going to be disappointed I rather bring it upon myself than someone else throw it in my face I need to get over this fear but I know that he and I are just meant to be friends and that it so until then.